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Monday, January 19, 2009

hayy...

i reallyt think i need to blog this up...

i just can't explain the feeling i am in right now...

Am i starting to fall in love again?

Or it is just brought about by the excitement of having someone again... or just a sort of expectation...

i really don't know...

all i know is that i can feel the "kilig factor" and the sense of anticipation from him...

because of this, i have to stop myself... before I explode... before it eats up my time and effort...

sorry, but I have to temporarily delete his cellphone numbers while I still don't memorize them...

i have to stop expecting anything from him in the first place to prevent myself from exasperation...

i don't wanna be hurt...

macoi is my one and only priority as of now...

i don't want him to get affected by my "insanity"(what a term???) or temporary madness in the first place...

i love my son so much...

it may not just be for him...

but if i'l fall in love with a man,

he has to love macoi too before i could give him the love that he deserves from me...

hayy...









Tuesday, January 6, 2009

COLORUM???

there's this one thing i learned which i failed to mention in my blog prior to this...

a term my aunt has taught me everytime somebody would ask where's or who's the father of macoi...

the reply would be...

colorum...

and that's already understood...

hehehe!!!

that makes sense...

Monday, January 5, 2009

NEW YEARS RESO...


time for us to formulate new years resolution...

it's been two years since i made a promise to myself that I won't smoke again, not anymore and I am proud to say that until now I am not and have not even done lighting up a cigarette stick in two years time...

last year 2008 was nothing but detrimental... i did not make any new years resolution... i just let my mind explode with lots of worries brought about by my pregnancy maybe...

but now, i guess the past year have taught me enough lessons to learn...

and this time i promise myself not to disturb and not to be disturbed by my agonies of being a single mother...

it may not be obvious but i must admit that yes I have this miseries which sometimes I cannot help myself but cry over those things about me being alone as a parent to my child... not thatI am regretful about it but because of some expectations from somebody...

and this time never will I ask for help from him, never will I update him of what's happening to my son...

the long holiday vacation has made me realized a lot of things about me as a person and as a mother to macoi...

macoi has brought me a bundle of joy nobody can replace...

even without his father, even witouht a partner... we can move on...

i saw that when almost everyone in the neighborhood in our province became happy brought about by the bright and fun personality of macoi...

and when we left they would surely miss my baby...
a simple smile coming from macoi is enough...
during the holidays the best gift i have ever received is the recognition macoi has given me...

because i could say that those were the moments when he fully realized that i am his mother, the only chances that we were really together and I am the one who's really hands on in taking care of him...

since macoi was born and for the coming days ahead i will continuously be proud of macoi as my son...
macoi has grewn up ang is growing up advanced showing signs of maturity more than his age... he is such a bright child... a brilliant one...

even without his father...

it isn't my loss...

my child has grewn up and is continuously growing up as a brilliant individual showing signs of maturity more than his age - macoi is such a smart being...


since the day he came and for the coming days ahead i will truly be proud of macoi regardless of our situation...


even without his father...


it isn't my loss...

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