If You

I can't remember where I got this, but I just found it in my compilation of docs.Anyways, I just feel the urge of sharing it.

If you're not married yet, share this with a

friend.

If you are married, share it with your spouse or

other married couples and

reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get

married, keep both eyes open,

and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to

someone, don't let lust,

desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure

from others or a low

self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.

Keep your eyes open, and

don't fool yourself that you can change someone

or that what you see as

faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time

his or her flaws,

vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences

will become more obvious. If

you love your mate and want the relationship to

grow and evolve, you've got

to learn to close one eye and not let every

little thing bother you. You

and your mate have many different expectations,

emotional needs, values,

dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two

unique individual children

of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect

for each other? Do you

bring out the best in each other? Do you

compliment and compromise with

each other, or do you compete, compare, and

control? What do you bring to

the relationship? Do you bring past

relationships, past hurt, past

mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to

the altar to alter him or

her. You can't make someone love you or make

someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual

discernment, and "a life", you won't

find yourself making someone else responsible

for your happiness or

responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and

selfishness are not the

ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and

lasting relationship!

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are

the wrong reasons to be in a

relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of

humor, sharing household tasks,

some getaway time without business or children

and daily exchanges (a meal,

shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a

note). Leave a nice message on

their voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is

important. Grow together, not

away from each other, giving each other space to

grow without feeling

insecure. Allow your mate to have outside

interest. You can't always be

together. Give each other a sense of belonging

and assurances of

commitment. Don't try to control one another.

Learn each other's family

situation. Respect his or her parents

regardless. Don't put pressure on

each other for material goods. Remember for

richer or for poorer.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship

will erode as resentment,

withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain

replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is

where you put the i.

This actually made me reflect further. Good points to consider. :)