Saturday, July 17, 2010

If You

I can't remember where I got this, but I just found it in my compilation of docs.Anyways, I just feel the urge of sharing it.

If you're not married yet, share this with a
If you are married, share it with your spouse or
other married couples and
reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get
married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to
someone, don't let lust,
desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure
from others or a low
self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and
don't fool yourself that you can change someone
or that what you see as
faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time
his or her flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences
will become more obvious. If
you love your mate and want the relationship to
grow and evolve, you've got
to learn to close one eye and not let every
little thing bother you. You
and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values,
dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two
unique individual children
of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect
for each other? Do you
bring out the best in each other? Do you
compliment and compromise with
each other, or do you compete, compare, and
control? What do you bring to
the relationship? Do you bring past
relationships, past hurt, past
mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to
the altar to alter him or
her. You can't make someone love you or make
someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual
discernment, and "a life", you won't
find yourself making someone else responsible
for your happiness or
responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are not the
ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and
lasting relationship!
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are
the wrong reasons to be in a
relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of
humor, sharing household tasks,
some getaway time without business or children
and daily exchanges (a meal,
shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a
note). Leave a nice message on
their voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is
important. Grow together, not
away from each other, giving each other space to
grow without feeling
insecure. Allow your mate to have outside
interest. You can't always be
together. Give each other a sense of belonging
and assurances of
commitment. Don't try to control one another.
Learn each other's family
situation. Respect his or her parents
regardless. Don't put pressure on
each other for material goods. Remember for
richer or for poorer.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship
will erode as resentment,
withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain
replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is
where you put the i.

This actually made me reflect further. Good points to consider. :)

1 comment:

nuts said...

followed this blog too..
thanks for the visit

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